Before leaving, W seemed to think that I had been controlling and insecure. I hadn't been at all, I had just wanted us to make some time together because we'd only had 1 night out in 6 months. Of course she could just have been using poor excuses but for me to say after we split that I'd take the kids if she has a night out planned and I didn't need to know the details, it was a total 180. I was self-confident enough to let go and not be bothered what she does, so I think I seemed less needy to her. I effectively took a step-back. Strangely enough she then told me the details of what was planned even-though I had said it was none of my business.
the 180 would have been you saying nothing... there is no way that comment, "you don't have to tell me the details," comes across as strong and confident... UNLESS you say it her as she is about to give you the details... when she "strangely enough" told you the details is when you could have said it, and only then... otherwise you do come across as needy and controlling... by the time she began to tell you the details, and you responded that it was none of your business--the remark had lost its effect...
DavidUK, i am sharing with you my perspective as someone who walked away from my M and then returned... my want is to help you stand for your M, while you do everything you can to give yourself the best possible chance of saving your M... detach and GAL to the Nth degree...
