Afraid of the dark PART 3

[Ste7e]

Benito - thanks so much for dropping in over here, I guess what I seek from you is some “manly” advice on how to tighten up to be the best me if WAW or someone else comes along later...mostly seeking some encouragement...I have read codependent no more twice now. I also go to Al Anon and have really been working on this area of my life.

V - Ok we are really getting somewhere now! I am definately going to take this to my shrink next week... I need to go deep and try and understand why I dont like being alone. This is something I deeply want to change for myself...and can see that this is the work I need to lean into. The two things which come to mind immediately are:
1.) I actually spend and have spent a great deal of time alone already, which is confusing because this is something I already do...so why am I afraid of it? On my road trip of the last 45 days I ended up spending several days a couple times completely alone and was having a really good time too.
2.) my WAW when she BD said to me “why dont I love myself” and I am doing a really good job of taking care of myself now and go to yoga 5 times a week and meditate daily as well as eat right now and do other exercise...this is all a huge deal as 6 months ago I could barely get out of bed and was 50lbs heavier totally depressed started to be anxious all the time and was becoming agoraphobic. I feel like these things are all behind me now but when pushed I have to admit that I still dont love myself or rather I dont intrinsically love being just with myself....but I seem to recall that I used to?