Originally Posted by Gerda
Mach, you are right that we don't want to make choices based on fear, but neither do we want to make them based on bitterness or some sense of revenge -- e.g., you think just because you came home I am gonna share your interests? this also runs the risk of becoming an attempt to influence her -- e.g., I will give her a taste of how that feels and then she'll realize what she did to me and repent of it.

I think Gordie's M is a slightly different place now than earlier in the MLC and I totally understand why he wants to make his W feel safe and welcomed and to know that he is standing for the M. I think that's wonderful that he is able to work on his husbanding skills even when he get none of the love back from his W, that's some godly stuff there and will lead to the most peace when coupled with continued detachment, no matter what the W does.

But I do think Mach is right that we have to be very careful about not being guided by fear, ever, but only what will help us heal, make us whole, no matter what our spouses do. Lately I have felt that you, Gordie, seem a little more wounded. I think that's natural and normal and I hope you will be able to see that when it comes, lay it at God's feet, and lean harder on God to give you full courage, strength, peace.



My concern is Gordies emotional welfare...

None of this, except the parts where he is living HIS life on his own terms (as of late), are giving him the emotional well being, or peace, that he has worked hard for...

So is it worth it, to sell himself for the sake of the defunct marriage ???

Anything for the future would have to begin anew...

I don't know that answer to that, only Gordie does.

But looking at both sides allows him to make an accurate decision about his future...