My story. Advice needed

[equalzr]

Hi everyone. I'm a newcomer with another story similar to everyone else. I recently came across information that led me to believe my wife is going through a MLC. That said, I'll post my story the best way i can remember it, as its been a looong road so far. I welcome questions and advice.

About a year and a half ago, my wife said she realized that she was living a boring life and had realized that she had to make changes because she wasn't happy without adventure in her life. For the most part our life had been pretty boring over the last 15 years which involved raising our S, working, and being involved in our child's activities outside of school. Also, one of us was the designated stay at home parent who would also work part time. My wife makes a good living and has been the sole provider for the last 9 years plus, which is part of her hurt/anger with me.

At this time a year and a half ago, she said she wanted to start doing more things and started to find activities for herself to do. These started out with her being gone for a few hours at a time a couple of times a week, which seemed very reasonable. Quickly, that developed into her being gone most nights of the week and not coming home until 3 or 4 in the morning with no real explanation of where she had been. I was told that she was at a siblings house, or her parents, etc. No real readon or justification imo of why she needed to be out so late or why she didn't tell me where she was going. I was just told that she needed to be doing more things.

Well, i didnt react well to any of this initially. I began giving her the cold shoulder, stopped doing little things i would do for her as a H etc. Time went on, and things continued to deteriorate. She suggested a counselor and I agreed. We found a counselor who began to work with us and gave both of us suggestions. Problem was, i was the only one making changes. My W, was still doing the same things. So after a few sessions, counseling ceased and I told W when she was serious about it, I'd be ready to go again(we also wanted to find a new counselor who we thought would fit better).

Time has gone on, and nothkng has changed with my wife. I've changed so many things sbout myself, and addressed every issue that she said she had with me in the relationship. I changed from being upset at what was going on to trying to be a good husband no matter what. I figured I would pray about it, do my part, and leave the rest of it in God's hands.

Fast forward to a few months ago, and I found evidence that an old boyfriend may be in the picture. Of course everything was denied, and I had no real proof this was the case. A few weeks later, she was showing me a text to her sibling, and accidentally showed me a text above that which also hinted that the old bf was back in the picture. A few weeks later, I did some snooping and saw a text on her phone's screen (which stays locked) that was from the old boyfriend, basically in so many words its clear he believes he is her man. She still denied everything even though it was clear, but I still tried to play the good husband role. A few weeks ago, I came across some messages from the old boyfriend and her that revealed that they are in a deep intimate relationship. I already had figured so, but this definitely shook me.

We still live in the same house, still share the same bed, and still parent our S together. I have yet to read the books and Im trying to track them down now as the store i went to didnt carry them. I need some advice, this has been going on for a year and a half now. I feel like their relationship may be so deep ocer that time that maybe there us no turning back now? She's lied to me continually, blamed me for everything wrong under the sun, treated me horribly, and did things that I woud never have imagined her doing.

Im open to advice and questions. Im sure this story jumped around a bit, and I may have missed details as well. Hopefully I can fill in the blanks as needed.