"once you are gone and done with her...where is she going to go with all of that anger/resentment/frustration she has?"
that is why NC/Dark is so key. She cannot project it onto you and you are just simply not around to be the cause of her anger resentment and frustration. Now, she has to deal with it without you. And that is the opportunity for them to do the internal work, but they don't generally do it, while the LBS is doing that internal work.
It was truly the best thing I could do for myself - get out of her firing line. The LBS cannot do anything about the anger, resentment stuff. The WS has to deal with it themselves and once they are finished blaming the LBS for everything and those feelings are still there, who to blame now? They have to go on their path and you need to get out of the way for your own sanity and minimizing stress levels.
