Steve so I'm definitely invested in introspection of myself. Absence validation of what I perceive to be my faults/failures/etc it feels much more like throwing darts. As I say me laying around watching TV instead of spending time with her, being a procrastinator, etc...all valid things I can change. BUT what if, just flat out one day some OM showed up, swept her off her feet and she was gone/done. Now again all the things I think I did wrong, can improve I do wish to correct for the future, but man look at this board...it's littered with WW/WHs who just took off for EA/PAs. LBH/LBW could have been perfect and yet still their spouse took off.
I'm a good guy, many friends, positively viewed by many, but what if my W just simply said "I don't want to be married/do this anymore" and took off to OM's arms. Should I be introspecting myself to death when simply put it could have had nothing to do with and all to do with her?
You are right on the money that I have to go through the entire process of self-evaluation for ME using MY awareness of my strengths/weaknesses. My only contention with what you say is in sitchs where the W just simply bails out, how does the left behind determine a true weakness/character flaw vs the weakness/flaw actually being in the one who took off?
At this point my W is getting deeper into the specifics of D, although I don't even know for sure based on what she says if she has even retained an L. I will say this talk and some of the unreasonableness or simply factually wrong information that she has provided has really pushed my detachment to new levels.
