WW having affair and pushing for divorce

[DB346]

Thank you Steve. I appreciate the encouragement. I know that I logically know what I need to do, and I think that if we didn't have S7, I would have already just filed for the 'at-fault' divorce and resolved to push through the grieving process.

I just feel like I let her and S7 down by not realizing that I needed help for my depression sooner. It is hard to forgive myself for the pain I caused my family because I wasn't able recognize and deal with mine. Your post about the WAW building up to this over 2+ years definitely applies in our situation.

I am getting better constantly, and I've made huge changes in myself and my life already, but I am having so much trouble with seeing myself as ME and not seeing myself as her H, as part of US. One of the MANY books I've bought or read since BD is Codependent No More, and I need to start reading it. I definitely lost myself in our M, but I don't know if that was part of the contribution to my depression or if it was a symptom of my depression. I'm hoping IC will help me sort that out.