ballast, you are giving her too much power. YOU know you better than anyone else. You don't need her to recognize your weaknesses and work on improving in those areas. Maybe it is easier to hear it from your spouse, but that doesn't mean you should be dependent on that.

Self-discovery is about turning inward not outward. It is about looking at yourself honestly, and asking questions like:

"What did I do that contributed to my W leaving?"
"What is it about me that either causes me to have many or few friends?"
"How do other people react to me? Is it positive or negative? What is it about me that causes these reactions?"

There are many, many more. And there are follow-up questions too. "What in my past contributes to these behaviors?" "What can I do to make sure I change these things about me?"

In the end, if it becomes too difficult to sort through, get a good IC and work through all of that. The IC will help you look inwardly, not outwardly. And then explore what it is you discover about yourself and ways to change it.

You are going to be better for all of this ballast, if you resolve to be. So make the resolution now to become awesome!

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018