Steve, Great Posts. I always love your insight and appreciate your comments on my sitch as well. Valuable tools. Realizing that our WAW/WW didn't just wake up one day and BD. They struggled with their decision for a long time. Reading through other's stories, similar reactions. "This came out of nowhere" "We had a great MR" " We weren't perfect but we were happy", etc. etc. Not realizing that the seeds were planted long, long ago. I look back and own my mistakes. The red flags were definitely there and some I ignored, some I picked up and waved back in her face, some I was oblivious too, and rarely I recognized some, tried to do something about it, but it was not the correct way to handle it. I don't "blame" my W for her decision. I know she did not come upon it lightly. She is definitely, at this moment, not the woman I married. She is struggling with her decision. She is also struggling that she has made a decision to move on after a LONG time of contemplating it. The journey before most of us will not be quick. It will not be easy. It will take resolve and commitment. I resonated a lot on the unrealistic hope comments. At present, Faith and Hope, realistic hope for a new and better me and hopefully a new a better MR are my concentration. I have zero control over my W. Detachment is key. Sandi's rules are key. DB'ing is key. I don't know if in my situation that in the end we will be together or not. I do know that I will be a better person and father. A 2.0 version of myself rebooted with a better operating system and the knowledge of what is truly important to me in this world.
The support of this board is amazing, but this is a journey that we have to do ourselves. We have to wake up each morning determined to be the best we can be. My focus is there.
Good Day to All!
Wow. Well said! I don't know why but this post actually made me emotional. I am a pretty unemotional guy. I don't cry very easily, but the openness and honesty in this post just hit me. JS, you have a great outlook on your sitch. You WILL be successful. Maybe not at reconciling your MR, but you WILL be successful in moving forward no matter what. This is what it is all about JS. Thank you for this post. Again, not sure why it hit me the way it did, but wow, it did.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
