We still live in the same house but in separate areas, so contact is restricted to arranging for the sale and the odd chat about the dogs. I try and be upbeat in these conversations and always be the one to end them, but I feel like that just helps her get over the guilt of leaving me when she sees that I am doing great.
Okay so you think you "doing great" is letting her off the hook. So the opposite of this is you being a mental and emotional wreck.
What do you think women find attractive? A guy that becomes a puddle of goo the minute they say they want to split up? Or a guy that say, "Sorry you feel that way!, I love you and would love to stay together, but if not, bye" and then goes out and becomes awesome without her?
I'll give you a hint....its not the puddle of goo. She will always feel guilt. She knows you are hurting. Leading up to BD she came to grips with the fact that she had to hurt you to leave you. So you being hurt will not, cannot, change anything. What can change something is your being awesome without her. You being awesome even losing her. You being awesome and her scratching her head and going..."Why am I leaving this awesome guy again?!"
So if you would rather be the goo and guilt her into staying......then you are barking up the wrong tree. You should instead be awesome, and maybe then she'll want to stay! See the difference?
She has already processed you being hurt. She has already processed the guilt associated with dropping the bomb. What she hasn't processed yet is you being awesome! So be awesome and give her something to think about.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
