Thread #6: Piecing and R.....plus parenting a 15yo

[Dtrmned]

Steve,
Great Posts. I always love your insight and appreciate your comments on my sitch as well.
Valuable tools. Realizing that our WAW/WW didn't just wake up one day and BD. They struggled with their decision for a long time. Reading through other's stories, similar reactions. "This came out of nowhere" "We had a great MR" " We weren't perfect but we were happy", etc. etc. Not realizing that the seeds were planted long, long ago. I look back and own my mistakes. The red flags were definitely there and some I ignored, some I picked up and waved back in her face, some I was oblivious too, and rarely I recognized some, tried to do something about it, but it was not the correct way to handle it. I don't "blame" my W for her decision. I know she did not come upon it lightly. She is definitely, at this moment, not the woman I married. She is struggling with her decision. She is also struggling that she has made a decision to move on after a LONG time of contemplating it. The journey before most of us will not be quick. It will not be easy. It will take resolve and commitment. I resonated a lot on the unrealistic hope comments. At present, Faith and Hope, realistic hope for a new and better me and hopefully a new a better MR are my concentration. I have zero control over my W. Detachment is key. Sandi's rules are key. DB'ing is key. I don't know if in my situation that in the end we will be together or not. I do know that I will be a better person and father. A 2.0 version of myself rebooted with a better operating system and the knowledge of what is truly important to me in this world.

The support of this board is amazing, but this is a journey that we have to do ourselves. We have to wake up each morning determined to be the best we can be. My focus is there.

Good Day to All!