This is exactly what I'm struggling with. I am every bit as anti-D as you are, but I always thought PA was a hard boundary for me. However, the more I search for God's guidance on recovering from infidelity I am constantly led to God's desire for us to reconcile.
I know I am not truly ready for a D, but that may just be me still struggling with attachment since it's not been quite 3 months since BD. I'm just unsure whether I truly want her back or if I'm just afraid of letting go.
Probably both. And there is NOTHING wrong with working through that. I think God's desire would be for you both to reconcile. But he won't hold it against you due to her infidelity to not reconcile. She will be judged for what she has done, however.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
