DB, I came over to your thread due to your posts in mine. Obviously there are a lot of details that you haven't shared, but you shared enough for me to at least give you some things to think about.

First, I am anti-divorce. I am anti-divorce just based on personal preference, because families in my mind should stay together. I am anti-divorce due to my religious beliefs, because God hates D and his plan from the beginning was one man and one woman for life. I am anti-divorce for societal reasons, because many of our problems in society are directly and indirectly related to divorce.

However, when a PA is involved all bets are off. First, I still prefer that families stay together, but for many a PA is a bridge too far. For some there is no coming back from that. I think I would struggle with taking my W back if she ever physically cheated. Second, God gives that one caveat on divorce in the NT "except for fornication". And third, while society is impacted by so many divorces, again, PAs are so destructive and damaging that the same societal problems can occur from adultery even if the marriage were to be saved.

DB I say all that to say that NO ONE could blame you for going right now, securing a lawyer, and filing for D with her being at-fault for adultery. I live in a state where that is no longer an option. There is no-fault D, and there isn't even an option for filing for D with cause. It can be stated in the No Fault D that one spouse claimed the other cheated, but in states where at-fault D's for cause can be filed I encourage the victim of adultery to explore it and have it ready as an option.

However, i would caution you against doing it for expediency. When it comes to DBing, slow and steady wins the race. I would never encourage you to file before you've done the work to prepare yourself. GAL. 180s. Detaching. All of those things must be done and must be your priority. If once you do this work you fill you should file for D, I think in your sitch you are FULLY justified.

It could be that as you do that work, that your WAW may take notice and come to her senses. That is always the hope.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018