I still find it weird to be offering to be more of a babysitting service than trying to come up with a fair/equitable schedule....I think that should be your goal.
I've done nearly all the childcare since the kids were born and with very little help. W then heavily restricted it when she left. I think it was because the kids wanted to come home. At the moment, I see them on a particular day and ask for other days if there is a local event etc. that I would like to take them too. I also go to all of their school events. W today asked if I'd like more days so there is some progress.
Yes, I understand. But the situation you have now puts you in a position where you are asking her every time for the opportunity to see your kids. It automatically puts you at a position of weakness and puts pressure onto her. "Does he want the kids...or is it a ploy to see me?" If you have a regular, fixed schedule it balances that power dynamic, I think.
