Friends: Season 2--The air has cleared

[Underdog]

Hi, I'm Phoebe. Some of you know me as UD, U-dawg, Undie, Bruce or Moe. But really, I'm just plain old Betsey.

Out of deference to my shark "friends" (Starring Meredith as Anchor, Pam as Chum and myself as Bruce), it's time to begin anew.

Our previous thread started out well.

Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

We began our posts with the intent on avoiding dissecting the past but by focusing more on what needs to happen for us to become the people we want and need to be.

Meredith (our sitcom's version of Monica) started by having us CONSIDER things about our spouses, ourselves and our marriages that we need to digest from all perspectives.

Then we took a side trip to another place. Pam (aka Rachel in this version) needed to get some things off her chest. This led us into a direction that resonated with many, but disturbed others.

Well, this is a great place to learn how to disagree in conflicting viewpoints--don't you think? We received lots of feedback while clearing the air.

Basically, what we want and need from posters is honesty with kindness, praise without veneration (thanks to Myrrh for the great vocabulary word), guidance without use of force, and compassion without pity. We want to feel respected. We want others to recognize when we're hurting and not ask us for more than what we are able to give. And we want patience from our fellow posters.

Since I'm Phoebe in this godawful sitcom, I'm asking for a group hug before we embark on the next season's journey. And being the peace loving person that I've surprised myself in becoming in real life, let's start our next assignment by expression our appreciation. For anything. I'll go first:

I appreciate the fact that I am loved.

I appreciate my 2 beautiful daughters.

I appreciate the fact that my estranged husband of nearly 14 years is truly a nice and good man. I'm grateful for the fact that we've been through the mud together, even though we seem to be in separate groups at this damn boot camp.

I appreciate every single lesson that I've learned--both here and off the BB.

I appreciate my family and friends, both here and in human form.

And I appreciate the feedback you folks have provided me. It's made a big difference.

Where is everybody?

Betsey

[psluke]

# 1

[psluke]

I'm here and I LOVE your post. I agree with it. I didn't take it the way you have said it here from reading the previous thread. But what you are saying here is the kind of person I WANT to work towards being!

I will work on a list as I think that would be a good thing for me in my present sitch to do for myself.

{{{Hug}}}

[Meredith]

Here is somebody!

Homework?!?!? On the very first day of the new thread? Argh…okay…

I appreciate…

- My children
- My sister trusting me to raise D4
- The lessons that my H’s leaving taught me
- The opportunity to return to school in the fall
- My job
- My BB friends
- My non-BB friends (well, most of them…)
- The food that I can put on our table
- The fact that I have some sort of chance with my marriage
- Most of the rest of my family
- My mean cat (because he kills the bugs in the house)
- Betsey and Pam’s generosity and patience
- My religion and my faith
- The strength I have found by doing DB things that I dislike (ie darkness)
- The love that I have from myself and others

How’s that????

Now if you will excuse me, as Monica, I must go do some cleaning and cooking. You do realize that 6 out of our 7 meals come from a crock pot, right???

[KutieKat]

ooo ooo ooo

I LOVE THIS - POSITIVES

1) i first and foremost appreciate being alive during a time that i can truly do something about my life and there is nothing to stop me

2) i appreciate my daughter, for without her i would not have ever known true joy and unconditional love

3) i appreciate that i have a family who obviously loves me altho blended

4) i appreciate that i have a husband that shares my view that it's important to be a stay at home mom and has given me the absolute priveledge that i could stay home with not only my step sons when they were little, but i am able to stay home with my beautiful daughter

5) i appreciate that i have GOD in my life, because without that, i truly believe there would not be any hope whatsoever

6) i truly appreciate the friends that i found on this board, and altho i hate that we all ended up here because of a very sucky situation, i would not have traded the growth i have experienced it in the last year and had the awesome priveledge to share it with you

7) i appreciate that i have a future that is beyond my imagination

8) i appreciate that i have my health, my kids and husband are healthy

9) i appreciate that i nor my children go hungry every night

ok, that is all i can do at the moment, but i have TONS more i am sure!!!!

thanks bets for doing this, your the greatest

[TripleJ]

Okay, here goes.........

1. I appreciate my sense of touch so I can feel what the hugs of my children are like, the most calming feeling that I have ever had.

2. I appreciate my sense of sight so I can see my children grow up before my eyes, to see their smiles, their tears and the love that they have for me.

3. I appreciate my sense of hearing, so I can hear the words "I love you Daddy" coming from my children, and hopefullt someday "I love you triplej" coming from my W.

4. I appreciate my W, cause without her, I wouldn't be learning these valuable life lessons and becoming the man I am today.

5. I appreciate having the ability to communicate and make friends, especially my new found friends here on the BB.

6. I appreciate the fact that there are people in this world who do listen to my words without judgment, and accept the fact that we are only human, we will make mistakes, and have the power of love to forgive.

How's that for a start?

Triple J

[Underdog]

Wow!!! Great posts from all, and some lumps in my throat. Since I'm not feeling great, I hope those lumps stay where they are. At least Triple J warned me before I ventured back here... But they're good tears, I swear!

I am so happy today with how things are gone... and I know you all think I'm from planet weird. But the fact is, that it sure seems as though we were all sulking about the lingering issues that were brought up previously.

I'm crediting Rachel (uh, I mean Pam) for feeling brave and bold enough to bring this issue to the limelight. AND Triple J for adding a little fuel to get things moving.

Life seems a little more palatable when you think of the good in your own life. Sour grapes are only meant to be snacks in between meals. I've learned quite a bit in my weight loss journey: I must fill my body with nourishing food and supplement it with vitamins and minerals. I see the results, because sad to say, my clothes look like crap. Good thing I have another wardrobe in smaller sizes to come to the rescue.

Let's move the analogy from food for the body to fool for the soul. Snacks in the form of pity parties or poor me pool parties must be limited! The meals should consist of acknowledging the healthy things in our lives. Things that have made us feel better about ourselves... like change and acceptance. The vitamins are reading materials that help us on our journey, as well as any spiritual or religious activities we do for ourselves.

Dessert? Well, that's off the table for awhile. And any of you who are getting sex, I don't want to hear about it!

Monica, if I catch you making dessert, I'm going to ask you some very pointed questions! So you keep right on preparing those crockpot meals. I really got used to your plankton recipes since fish seems to be an ingredient from our past that no longer sits well...

I think I see some dust under the table, though... I'll just sit here on the couch and watch you clean it up. I need to save my energy because we're expecting 10-14 inches of snow tonight. It's raining like the devil and was about 38 awhile ago, and plummeting.

YUCK. The view from this apartment sucks.

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

I'll bite.

1> I appreciate the fact that I have such a great tool at my fingertips. (The BB, you perverts! )

2> I appreciate the fact that I have learned how to get out of the hole of depression.

3> I appreciate the fact that I have friends with whom to learn, grow, and set goals.

4> And I appreciate the fact that I've been able to address so many issues through the bb.


Hugs!

[SadBurl]

Hi Huys I've just found you and have spent the last 20mins reading your last thread. Talk about food for thought. Definitely something to think about.

You all have great ideas and opinions and I personally benefited from some of them along the way (You know who you are )

I'm appreciate each day I live.

I'm appreciate my friends and family who support me even when they don't understand me.

I'm appreciate the progress I've made in myself and my M

I'm appreciate modern technology and the BB for all the advice, love and compassion I get.



God bless
Joanne

[Livnlearn]

Well - here are my "reasons to be cheerful" (that was the title of a song by Ian and the Blockheads, a UK band. Anyone remember them?)

I love the fact that I have the bestest daughter in the whole wide world!

That I got a new bread making machine just with accumulated supermarket points - and our first loaf of bread made yummy toast!

Being on my own here in a foreign country as a single parent has forced me to get new initiatives going and make new friends, thus boosting my self esteem

(Here's an example - at bomb time, H declared that I was pathetic, I still 'couldn't speak a word of the local language'. Well, I WAS sadly lacking in the language dept, but he did somewhat exaggerate.

This week I got a call from a potential English language student, who wanted info about lessons. After a couple of minutes talking in the local language, he said, but you're not a native English speaker, are you, you sound like a local! Boy, did that make my day! Never mind that he thought my charges too high and didn't call back.

I had to assure him my mother tongue was NOT the local language, but thereafter my abilities wavered and I hesitated and made loads of mistakes! It seems my accent is very good and I fool some people in the initial stages of convo that I am local... )

I am being forced to grow up. I always thought of my H as the big procrastinator around here, but I can see I do a fair amount of it myself, as well as sweeping unpalatable things under the carpet, blaming others, being a perfectionist, etc etc. I am learning to take more responsibility, and also how to take the consequences of my actions on the chin.

I have also learned what is NOT my responsibility, which is a huge burden off my shoulders.

Well, that's enough for a start, I'm off to bed!

Livnlearn

PS I also have a roof over my head, food in the kitchen, friends, ways to make some money, a nice park nearby with a duck and her *sixteen* ducklings in it...