Newcomer

[jaylove]

So I got a draft D petition today and somehow I’ve been very calm all day. There was also an accompanying letter from W with her proposed arrangements for our 50-50 childcare. Frankly it was unreasonable and unrealistic - she works Monday-Thursday so wanted me to have Monday PM, all day/night Tuesday-Thursday, her to have every Friday and for weekends she would have the kids all weekend every other weekend and then Her Saturday am, Me Saturday PM, me Dunday AM, her Sunday PM
A really bizarre proposal that wouldn’t give the children any periods of stability and would also enable her to work and also continue to go out drinking after work and would also limit by ability to find extra work in the week.
I said it was totally unreasonable and unworkable and that most 50-50 agreements in the U.K. are based on a 5-2 arrangement- H has the children Monday-Friday, W has Saturday and Sunday, then W Monday-Friday and H Saturday and Sunday, so In effect each parent has a solid 7 days and the weekends are alternated as are the weekdays.

Her face totally dropped when she considered this, I have my mother and brother close by who can support me when I have to travel to do my work, my W would need to put th children in childcare Monday - Thursday and that would be a new thing for the kids and not something I’d choose for them, but as my W is choosing the D, this is the reality of what she is choosing to do. I cannot say that having the children in childcare when my W has them on weekdays is in the children’s best interest- but if I accepted her proposals it would totally limit my ability to work and support myself and the kids and it would also limit my time at weekends with them too.

I really sensed confusion in W when she got an idea of the realities of being a single parent