Thread #6: Piecing and R.....plus parenting a 15yo

[Bewas]

Thanks Bewas, bhappy, and Davide. This has been ruminating in my skull for a couple of weeks now.

Davide, I get your point. However, it IS possible to detach but still have hope. They are not mutually exclusive.

Look at sandi's rules.

Almost everyone of them has to do with detachment. And then there is #33.

33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel.

There is always hope. Even after a D is final. There are cases of the WAS coming back to the LBS. Often times the LBS is no longer open to R at that point, but it has happened.

If you truly feel there is no hope then it behooves you to take the bull by the horn and follow through on the D, there is no point in waiting if you don't even have a sliver of hope.

I do think that most of us on this board (including me), especially after a month or two do realize that the odds are stacked against a relationship again with our WAS or WS, but I believe having a bit of hope is the only thing keeping some people on the board going from day to day long enough to detach to the point where they can actually start the healing process.