Afraid of the dark PART 3

[Ste7e]

Well the past couple days have been anything but pleasant.
I received an unsolicited text message two days ago from WAW saying
“Ive been thinking alot about what you said the other day. The road to reestablishing friendship is going to be long and slow, while I am very happy to hear you are having breakthroughs and excited about what you uncover I cant be the person who takes on that emotional component for you”
I responded by agreeing and not giving excuses.

I then received a phone call from WAW to navigate further division of property with which I did quite well with total detachment. I have just accepted that I dont want anything and shecan take whatever she wants...it was all hers anyways or things she bought. She is coming by tonight while I am at a meeting to get the rest of her stuff.

Although my behavior and ability to face these conflicts headon and not lose my cool show a major improvement to me. I have also caught myself doing pursueing actions a few times and stopped myself which is amazingly powerful!
I have just been on an extreme roller coaster of emotions behind closed doors. The highs are great and I feel super pumped and can see the improvements I am making in my life and the lows just blindside me. One day at time I keep saying.

I keep hoping that somehow we can Rec but I understand it wont be now or prevent the D.
I need some hope to cling on to so that I dont give up...I dont want to ever be with anyone else but the idea of being completely alone is the most terrifying thing I can think of. But I know I need to lean into my fears and believe in my convinctions.
I need a pep talk!