Need advice on detaching- Part 2

[kiro]

[quote=kiro] This is very common kiro. I agree it is a bit of a chicken and the egg, except that the temptation if you think her losing faith caused her to walkaway, then convincing her of her faith will bring her back. It is very dangerous thinking.

DBing might wake her up. It might not. I like you was more concerned about my W's soul than our marriage. But it was walking away and waywardness that made her lose her faith, not the other way around. The only way I could potentially get her to recommit to God was through doing the DB work. If she could wake up to the reality of walking away then she could potentially wake up to the reality that she had wandered away from God.

But shaming or guilting her through her lack of faith was never going to work!

I never talked about shaming or "guilting" anyone. I see faith as something different than anything else in this world. For me, it is the essence of life. I don't want to transform this conversation into a religious or spiritual one. Making a shift from being a believer to a non-believer is huge.

But I also believe that faith is a personal choice. More than anything else in life, I don't think we can influence anyone else's choice to either choose to believe or not.

But I don't understand exactly what you are saying. If W first made the decision to walk away, and that giving up faith, values, family and friends to be able to achieve that goal, then maybe she is not that wayward after all. Maybe it's all about the relationship and this was her only way out. And maybe that after she manages to detach and start a new life, she will slowly get back to faith and to other people she pushed away.

Basically, I see the opposite of what you are saying. If she had lost faith first and that led her into temptation to sin and that led her to walk away, then if she decides to recommit to God, then she could start changing her behavior.

But if she decided to walk away first, then she could go back to God, without necessarily seeing anything wrong about walking away from the marriage.