Detaching / Dbing... Can I get to Piecing?

[Did]

Thanks hongaku I wish there was a weekly call or a local group meet up for people in our situations. Probably a mistake but I called w. Talked for a bit about d3 and schedule. She said something about now knowing what she wants and if she says something to me or gives me a hug it is such a big deal. I said it is not a big deal to me but I understand why you feel that way from the past. The important thing is both of us being consistent which shows our growth. She used to love these deeper talks and want to have them. Now I am trying to do it all by myself. I guess I did pressure her to actually do what she says. I am in the midst of a major career switch and w knows the situation well. I said it would be nice to have that drink and talk through it since my work and money affects all of us. She said the stress triggers her still because of how it used to affect me. She apologized that she still gets triggered. I said you have told Oher people how much I have changed. I would value your opinion but the stress was in her voices and She wanted to get off the phone.

Being at a vacation destination at the beach seeing the attractive couples or the older families pregnant women hits hard. Like dam* I had that’s with a gorgeous woman who is a great mom and now after dozens of therapy sessions reading books making 180s she says the same thing she said a year ago in couples therapy. I do not know what I want. Makes me want to throw in the towel go have fun get laid build a new relationship. But that is shallow short term thinking. I love w because she was always a good person besides WW time. Part of my marriage vows was she made me a better man. She made good decisions does what’s she believes is right But now W does not value me and our family and is not consistent in anything between us. She says I owe her a drink because there’s have been some expenses she has paid for. I want time together I guess I have to act like I do not want it. Be unavailable GAL be busy.

She is in a good place at her apt I am paying for that is great. But tears at me. She is starting to put things together for her business. But very slowly.

I am frustrated I had my hopes up thinking she wanted to spend time. Dreaming about romance and future happiness. I have to protect myself better and not think too far ahead. Thanks all I hope to hear from some of you - Sandi, lonewlf, Steve85.