Nicole - I am glad you brought up the subject because I think when the WS leaves for a younger person, it is so hard not to compare yourself to the young fling and how you might not measure up. I think your feelings on this are really legitimate. I am just saying that you want to separate the 'boys' from the 'men'. Just like I separate the 'girls' from the 'women'. What your H did is what I believe boys do - go after that shiny thing without truly understanding what they want from a partner and what complements them. If someone wants to play the hook-up game, that's a different story completely.
And from what I can read, when you go out in the dating world, you're looking for a man. There are tons of men like me IRL, and even on this forum, that have a more nuanced understanding of what they might want in a relationship or a partner and won't dismiss someone outright, unless things are very obviously not going to line up.
I'll give you an example - I want to be with someone who cares about health, nutrition, and being physically active. They don't need to look like lean cut Crossfit women, but are working towards a healthy lifestyle. And this is not for vanity reasons for me. I want to be with someone who supports me in this and that I can also support too. If a woman doesn't have that, it's not a complete deal-breaker for me, but they would have to bring a lot of other stuff to the relationship for me to not worry about the health stuff. And yes, there needs to be some physical attraction and spark, but that's at a deeper level and not just some lustful attraction, because that's just temporary and fleeting.
Yeh, I stopped at my last thread because there was nothing new to add. Things are pretty much the same. I am in the process of seriously contemplating D and giving myself a little bit of time before I file. I just want to make sure that I am coming from a good place for it rather than being impulsive.
