Wow. Thanks for all the response! Sage, I remember you from when I first found the board. Betsey, thanks for finding me here, too. I haven't been so good about following up either.
I think Underdog/Betsey is right. My marriage is crumbling. And I KNOW that I can do something about it. That's why I'm here. No one in my real life is willing to hear about baby steps or plans of action or call me accountable when I'm not doing what I need to do.
So. . . my plans so far are to say something positive about his parenting every day, because there is something positive about it every day. On the other hand, I need to not say anything negative about it. Hard, hard, hard. My one wise real life friend says, "It's tiring always being the one to do the right thing, isn't it?"
T2, you may be right in your analysis. I'm trying to just take deep breaths when he only wants to talk about his work, hide with his face on the TV, etc. I don't think, Livnlearn, that he actually wants me to go out and get a job, BUT he certainly doesn't want to hear squat about how hard my life is. That said, I'm always kind of poking around for part-time work. Oh! I have to fax my resume to a college near here. They called yesterday.
While I really, really, really do understand the thinking behind "I need to veg after a hard work week," please tell me at some point he will come out of it if I support him enough. Surely anyone with an ounce of feeling would miss his kids as PEOPLE eventually? Because, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I can make it without some kind of reassurance. Look, I grew up with a dad who wanted wallpaper children, and I don't want my children to have that. (On the other hand, Thing 1 is starting to really like watching baseball with her dad, and he said directly how happy that made him. Now she gets to stay up late to watch games with him and they read the sports page together.)
So, I'm going to put up some flyers for babysitters today. My sister is coming over to watch the kids for me and I'm going to the community college. I agree that some break time during the week would help.
And routines, yep, that's on my list too : ) Moving to a new place -- closer to the Cat's work -- threw them pretty hard.
I'm trying to lard my family with positive responses and "sandwich" any requests or complaints with lots of praise around them.
I'm going to try to check out your threads, guys. Thanks and I agree -- I'm in a place to stop this breakup before it starts.
