Picking up Her MESS #3 and is getting Worse

[marina7]

Journaling and updating,
Well I got some great news. I take this for now.
Summer schedule is 1 week with me and one week with W this is the first time in a yr and 4months that W will have all 3 for 7 days and W can't separate them they must stay together and if W has to go to work or as before W has said I had things to do W can't just drop them off at family W must call me and give me at least two hours for me to pick them up.

I have made several proposals but W refused all finally what I heard is GAL needed to threaten to do this the hard way. Smh W literally doesn't see her behavior is out of control it still hurts to see W so angry when things don't go her way. Hoping things soon will turn around for kids sake and ours. My plan is for kids to be with me during school year and W could see anytime.

W literally has the ball in the court still I know my kids need both parents I have volunteered for W to come every night and tuck them in I have volunteered to take kids to meet her for dinner, I have volunteered to leave my own home for her to spend couple hours with them W still refuses everything. As many know I am having several surgeries up coming still not working I have volunteered to watch during the morning her week because W works W replied back to GAL that's giving her still more time. When I am trying to save her money W rather spend money to put them in daycare. I am seriously so confused. I am trying to understand W and everything I do W comes back monstering at me and still treating our Kids like crap. I honestly have let God deal with W and for him to protect our kids.

And as for me. I was so happy when I got the news but then anxiety kick in, this is the first time I'll not have the 3 kids this is the first time am alone. I have kept ourselves busy with therapy,volunteering going to divorce groups for me and kids but it has always been us now next week am alone. My therapist is going see me 2 or 3 times next week she said she will make herself available during the day just to come in. Also am going volunteer in pantry. Go watch a movie ect. But in reality is easier said than done so I am trying to sike myself out that everything going be ok.

So this my update I still have my moments of WTF happened. I hear so many stories I am waiting to see when will I see W in next faze but W is just angry so angry there's days I see her sadness. Of course I heard from kids that W said she is truly in love and ml was singing your in love my daughter. Again I get that wtf moment who can approve there children's behavior I know that W mom is one of those mom that loves chaos and edges her kids if they unhappy come back home. Where my mom will kick my butt if I acted that way and put me in place. I guess I will never get it. I will never understand what happened. Today is more of a what happened what I could have done to save my marriage. Is just today I know tomorrow will be another day.