I second what T2 has written, the same thing went on in our marriage, H wanted me to work very badly, but never told me directly himself, until he left. I felt burdened enough and thought if I took on more work, he would do EVEN less around the house than I felt he was doing anyway. After all, HE had weekends for eight years, I didn't!

And yes, he 'confided' in my friend (who became HIS "dear friend") about his hard lot. This is the friend that I had exchanged confidences with over the years, when we both compared how lazy our Hs were - when our children vomited in the night, it was always US that got up to clean the mess and deal with the sick child, EVEN when we were sick ourselves and our Hs weren't..... you get the picture.

Get these things sorted out soon, before it eventually drives you apart.

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates