Need advice on detaching- Part 2

[kiro]

Kiro I feel exactly the same about vows, decency and no communication from someone who until recently was the love of your life.
I also struggle between acceptance and denial- the BD opens a huge gaping hole in us and leaves us suffering from emotions not experienced before. I lost my first wife in a freak tragic accident, but in all honesty this sitch is far worse because it’s not clear cut and so much is unresolved with so many questions that my W won’t answer
3 months ago she dropped £6000 on a new MBR bed, which would leave one to believe that the plan was to be sleeping on it together for twenty years. Today I received the draft D petition- I simply can’t get my head around this total change.

Herbie, I know exactly what you feel. It's tough to have all these unresolved questions. The only difference is that your BD was 1 month ago. Mine was 12 months ago. So it is normal that you are still struggling with these questions. It takes time to accept that there is nothing you can do about it and that you may never get the answers to these questions. And then, you'll start realizing that your best choice is to let go and focus on what you can control, which is your own happiness, your kids and the other people who decided to remain in your life.

But after 12 months, I should be way past this by now.