Hmmm...well, first off, welcome. Sorry that you find yourself here but seems like there's lots to work with!

You mention that you've read lots of Michele's books. Good. Seems as though the principles will definitely apply. Have you tried to take them step by step? (I'm a pretty logical sort so bear with me!) I'm thinking of DR in particular...what's the first step? Start with a beginner's mind? Have you written down those ASSumptions of h and m that might be blocking you...then moved onto step 2, etc?

We DID have some threads here that addressed it step by step...but that was before I lost my steam. Now I'm signed up for the KLA group:

KLA 2004 signup

Maybe that would be a very good place for you to be, too? Do you have the KLA tapes?

Let me also ask this...have you read "Men are from Mars" by John Gray? A lot of what you reported in your post reminded me of stuff in that book.

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.