Is there hope? Part 2

[Rita]

Scoobs, that is wonderful wonderful wonderful that your son opened up to you! Keep those lines of communication open and thank him whenever he shares with you! Even with doing that, my S has slowly started to close up since BD five years ago and now it's very hard to get him to talk, and it is really affecting his mental health.

I would not talk to your kids about how she feels about you, I would just really listen and validate when they tell you things and keep assuring them that you will always be there and that when they are with their mom, you are always thinking of them and loving them, and that his mom is always welcome to be with all of you, and that you would like to be a family if that can happen again at some point.

I do not think she was just saying that to comfort him. I think she really really misses you but she will not allow herself to go there because she thinks she will find an end to the pain by leavings so she is trying to be "strong." Once she is gone, she will experience some real highs but mostly she will experience horrible lows, and the being "strong" won't work anymore. Eventually (after a looooooong time) she will hopefully come out of the fog and realize that the problem wasn't you, and that's when you will have to make a decision.

For now it sounds like you are doing great and are being the real meaning of strong.