Still treading water

[Gerda]

sjohn,sometimes I get on those kicks, but really, what is it you need to decide now? You are not ready to start dating, so really that's the only thing you are missing. You want to feel some kind of confidence in deciding in order to feel better but you don't really have anything to decide right now since you are on your own right now either way. What you need to do is heal, so for now you want to be alone anyway. You need to learn how to let her go, and that will be probably the only way you can allow her back in anyway too. Only time can teach you that.

I am on year five with an in-house prodigal and I think for the first time I am learning how to let him go but it is being helped by the fact that I don't feel that I want to be with my H. I love it when he is out of town and I am trying to leave town more often myself. I just keep walking by faith as far as standing for the marriage, that when the time comes that he wants to come back, I can at that point move to a new way of being, for not I am just not trying to divorce, not thinking of other men, just being on my own, trying to take joy in this life, in my kids when they let me. If my H ever tries to come back, I will be open to it and at that point begin re-opening my heart.