I think I need to really learn to not react and not feel those codependent feelings I get of worrying how he feels. I was very sad after I told him that SS probably couldn't be dropped off with me for his weekend with him. I did give him a solution of SS can be dropped off at my parents too. I felt bad not being able to fix that. I know I shouldn't. This was one of the things that frustrated me about our R. I had SS whether he was home or not on our weekends with him. He would often be working so I had him and our other kids. I never felt appreciated or respected. Even now since the split he has attended family parties with the kids and I and stayed over. The kids are all close. His Mom and I have a good R. But that was always my duty. He would make plans with his buddies not even thinking about the child he gets only a few days a month. I do think maybe this S will help I'm spend more time with the kids. And I think maybe him having to feel the full effects of the separation, as in arranging his own childcare vs just always having me there may help.

I understand the DB process somewhat and am still waiting on the book to arrive, but I guess I don't understand how me fixing myself would ever possibly make him see what damage he did to the R. If I fix me does that make everything better?


Me: 35
XFiance: 40
Kids: 3 (His, Mine, Ours)