The timeline is a lot to process and accept. I remember well how much heartbreak and pain this causes and you are right jaw and heart drop to the floor when you start to grasp what this is. Don’t be too hard on yourself and give this some time. Answer will come, usually when you are not looking for them.
You seem to have a good outlook and willingness to seek the truth. That is good.
You are wondering about how to adapt your going dark/detaching strategy. Going dark is not a strategy to win your W back, or speed this up, or help it along. Going dark is only for you. It limits your contact with W and her MLC, to protect you from damage. To give you space to heal.
Detaching is difficult and most necessary. It will lessen the emotional turmoil you experience from W’s actions. Once achieved your wife’s actions, spew, problems, and so forth will have very little impact on your emotional state.
I am glad you decided to remain in your home. And good for you on getting a Bowflex, keeping fit is always a good idea.
You are doing good Trevor. Stay strong.
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
