Need advice on detaching- Part 2

[kiro]

The other thing that I just want to throw out there for what it's worth is that before starting this forum and the DB techniques (especially LRT, no contact, GAL, detaching), and for the first 7 months after BD, I mostly followed another marriage coach who recommended putting love first and basically pursuing the spouse through gifts, date nights, talks, etc.

Anyway, my point is not to analyze or judge what this other coach was preaching. But I have to say that he was right about something. While doing all these things to my W, my love to her was kept alive and even growing. And I became much more forgiving and understanding toward her. But it didn't stop her from leaving.

As soon as I stopped doing these things and I started using the DBing techniques I mention above, my love seems to have dissipated into thin air. I don't feel much love for her anymore. I became indifferent toward her, and it didn't help either my marriage situation.

I don't know...