Need advice on detaching- Part 2

[kiro]

Everyone that posts here want nothing more than for Kiro to be posting here in a year, well into piecing and R, and giving sound, direct and sometimes tough advice to others.

Steve, so I am curious about that comment. This is what I thought when I bought the DB and then DR books and when I first started reading this forum. My focus was to restore my marriage. To me, the term Divorce Busting could not be clearer than that: It clearly indicates that it is about Not getting Divorce. Yet, many people (or maybe most or all) on this forum use DBing as meaning becoming a better person, accepting the Sitch, and being reading to move on with or without the spouse.

My problem is that the more I use some of the techniques (like LRT or detaching), it is true that I start really not to care whether we get back together or not.

Then, when I used in one of my previous posts the term DBing as meaning to me the hope of restoring the marriage (because this is what Busting a Divorce means literally), I am told that I am misusing that word. I am confused!

If my only goal is to feel good about myself and heal after Divorce, there are plenty of resources and other forums that I could have gone to. IMO, we cannot say that the goal of this forum is just to become the best person we can be and that we should not have hope of R. Am I missing something here?

One of the sites that I read a lot earlier is the Heartsblessing site. It has a lot of good information especially about midlife crisis. The author always said that as long as there is hope, everything is possible. If I have no hope for a possible reconciliation, my best interest is to end this marriage right now.