Advice on my Scenario Pt. 19 - Valhalla Cometh

[OrangeK]

So OK, a bit of a 2x4. You feigned interest in your S3 in order to try to ascertain if he was at OM's or MiL's?

You realize this is a no-no.

you are 25% correct.
My intention on sending "How was your night with S3 last night" was genuine.
Once it became suspect that S3 was with MIL, i Texted her to see.
The photo i got from WIFE was legit. OM may have picked up S3 from school but he did sleep at MIL's.
When i have reason to believe im not being told the truth about where my son is, i am obviously going to inquire as to where.
That being said, I am OK, not thrilled, but accepting and calm, with S3 being around OM. He has been for over a year now. I just dont want them sharing a bed. That is all.

This is why you need to be careful about how "over" everything you really are. We've talked before about how you have no control over where she stays even with S3. Unless OM is a sexual predator you have no legal standing to demand she keep S3 away from him.

See above.

You can scream, yell, jump up and down, hold your breath, stomp your feet, etc.....you have ZERO control over that.

I didnt get upset a WINK yesterday. I am over things. Steve, i would really like to see you try and move away from this image you seem to have of me, pining, and writhing in misery. That is no longer my existence. It has been this way for a few weeks now.

quote=Steve85]So concentrate on what you CAN control, and that is sending premeditated texts to your STBXW in the guise of asking about S3.[/quote]

I have let go of my desire for control Steve, it is profitless.
I would use the "Cheeseless Tunnel" line here, but i find the expression crass lol.
Who eats cheese they found in some tunnel?

It wasn't premeditated and the reason for the text was genuine, honestly it just kind of happened. I was thinking about S3, and i wanted to know how he was, so i asked. I have every right as a father, LBH or not, to ask after my son, without it requiring some cloak and dagger motivation.

Please, if you could perhaps ASK as to my motivations and reasons for doing things, before assuming the reasoning behind my actions in the future i would be most appreciative of that. Just as i have been instructed to come here and bounce thoughts and ideas off before I shoot from the hip so to speak, I would simply ask that you do the same in regards to assuming my motivations for doing things.

I really appreciate your input Steve, and you stuck with me faithfully when i was in my lowest lows, but you tend to lean towards a worst case scenario each time.
I had thought that you would have seen the progress i have made emotionally, and understand that my opinions, motivations and interpretations of my sitch have evolved as it has developed. Especially recently.

WIFE does not hold the trigger to my emotional detonation anymore. Nor does OM.