MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART X

[ItHurts]

Okay so tonight I stopped by my work for a few minutes to grab my schedule. As I was inside talking with my co-worker I went into the back room. When I came out there was WAW at the counter. She had asked if I was working. I assume she saw my car in the lot. So I went outside with her and we talked for a bit. She thanked me again for the invite to the bonfire and said she was really looking forward to it. Apparently she was in town at that local friend's house again. She asked me if I was sure I didn't want to take "one of your girlies." I said "well obviously not." Then she started with her "I don't want to send the wrong impression about us crap...saying she wanted to make sure she didn't hurt me and her. She said we ended badly once...that she didn't want that to happen again. At that point I reached my limit and decided to end this does she/doesn't she crap that is really starting to wear on my nerves.

So I started by saying "First of all, you can't hurt me...you don't have that power anymore. I've been there, got the t-shirt. " She laughed at that point. I continued by telling her look...to be honest I don't think much about that. I told her basically the things I've written here in my recent posts...that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. I don't have some master plan. I told her "As I've said before, this friendship will last as long as I don't become involved with someone else. Then that's it." She understood and said she'd accept that but that she'd miss me. In the course of conversation the subject of her first contact with me came up. I laughed and said that that was some coincidence that she "happened" to contact me right after Mary and I split. As expected she claimed she had no idea we weren't together still. This from the woman who admitted clearly to me "Yeah I stalked you. I would ask people how's my ex?"But I let her denial go and the conversation continued. She mentioned how she has no interest in men right now. I said "that's cool...neither do I." She laughed. I basically told her that I don't expect to get back together AND I don't expect us not to. Whatever happens with us happens. I said if we wind up in the sack in two weeks...great....if not that's fine too. I said for now let's see what happens. WAW said that's exactly how she feels about it. I wanted to be the one to end the interaction since this was a totally surprising and unplanned encounter so I said i have to go because I'm already ten minutes late being somehere. So as I was walking away she said to tell Mary I said hi. I looked at her perplexed...like where did that come from??? Mary was never even discussed. So I just laughed it off and said I told you, Mary and I are done. I stuck a fork in it.

Now earlier she had mentioned how she couldn't stay away from me because I was like family. Well now I'm still walking away at this point and after the Mary remark she says, "Can I ask you something? Is that how it is for you with me? That you love me like family?" I answered her with "Honestly? No. I love you the same way I always have...that never changed. Then I insisted I had to go and was trying to end the convo.by continuing to walk away. She said okay be safe and I'll see you on Saturday. I said okay be safe and see ya then.

So an unexpected appearance by WAW and quite honestly she was lucky to catch me as I only stopped at my work for about 5 minutes as I'm off tonight. So I'll let you all know how it goes on Saturday. I'm sure it will be a great time and I feel great for clearing the air with her. She now understands that I am happy with ME alone or ME attached...which is really the total opposite person I was during the gradual death of our marriage..
Anyway I feel so powerful right now...it's an amazing feeling to be able to not rely on what WAW does or doesn't do.
I still think her "friend zone" business is a bit of smoke and mirrors because every now and again I see her nervousness. My feeling is that it isn't that WAW doesn't want me ... WAW wants no men. She wants to be single. And so do I to be honest, I just got out of a long term relationship. It seems at least we both know where we stand...on the same place...no promises, no commitments, let nature take its course. She's good with that and I'm good with that so that's how we're taking this.