Introduction

[TJT]

Thanks for the continued words of wisdom everyone. I will respond more specifically later but I am taking a moment while I’m at dinner tonight to write because I’m having a harder time than I thought I would.

I’m typically totally fine in these trips alone but that’s probably bc I know I can text him everything I’m doing, pictures of where I’m at, etc. It’s so hard being alone and really FEELING it. He has texted me a few times and I’ve been nice, but short and once he said “hope you enjoy yourself” which I can tell was genuine but that’s part of what bothers me... enjoy YOURSELF, as if to say “hope you’re moving on”.

I don’t WANT to just enjoy myself. I get the value of being able to, but I hate the prospect of there not being anything waiting for me when I come back. Nobody to share inside comments with as I would normally do while I’m gone. If I can get through dinner right now without busting out crying, it will be an achievement.

He does continue to text me things about his day on his own.