Can I really do this #4

[AnotherStander]

1) Do we now, and how do we tell our son?

You already know this, but your W is the WORST when it comes to follow-through! I would just put it out of your mind. I doubt she will lift a finger to make that talk happen.

2) Is my W just blowing smoke? Cake eating? Both or something different?

She's doing both. She's also all talk and no action.

3) Do I need to detach more by not interacting with her more and more?

Definitely. And no more temp checks!

4) How do I handle the accusations, proclamations, and seemingly endless frustrating conversations than end up in her stating she is moving forward and then nothing ever happening?

By not participating in the conversations. Just listen and validate, that's it. "I hear you saying you want out and are ready to push forward, I am sorry to hear you feel that way but I will not interfere with your plans." Always emphasize they are HER plans. If she asks why you are not taking action then remind her that YOU are standing for the M, SHE is the one that wants out and any work to that end is HER responsibility. There's a big difference between not interfering and assisting. Do the former, not the latter!