Meanwhile 12 Years Later

[Dawn70]

It's a real red neck affair (from my point of view) but with her growing up on a farm, it somewhat fits and she has a blast so really no judgement from me. Tractor pulls, truck pulls, demo derby's, etc., is just not my type of thing. I've been to them and it's actually fun to do once and a while but meh, I can take it or leave it and was fine to leave it. She didn't ask though so it's not like I turned her down.

You know, for some of us, these "redneck affairs" are very commonplace. I was raised on a livestock farm and actually showed livestock for years before becoming an adult with a job who helps young people who want to learn the responsibility and life skills associated with showing livestock. To each his own....I know not everyone gets it, but some of us were just raised with it and appreciate it.

All of this brought up some talk about WG and me. Of course my friends think things are farther along than they are - or should be. Whatever. I go at my own pace - which most of you know is slow and steady.

I think we are all guilty of letting other people's thoughts influence us, but does it really matter what they think? I mean, it is what it is, right? So, let 'em eat cake, so to speak

A few more texts on Saturday and I had offered to come out and meet her on Sunday or she could come out by me but she passed. Hmmmmm. So I decided I was just going to let her come to me. And of course she did. I don't want that to sound cocky - much more pointing out that I didn't chase and see what happened? The tone of her texts had been distant, somewhat short but on the phone things were totally normal.

Here's something I don't quite get. You mentioned the "tone" of her text. I have seen other posters mention that as well, but text has no tone. There is no affect within text. I think that people read into texts whatever emotion they ASSUME goes with it. I used to spend a lot more time than I even care to admit trying to explain that to my teenage daugthers when one of them would get all upset because someone "was snotty" to them over text. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of it too. In fact, right before I typed this, I did it to Sparky because I read into something he typed and ASSUMED he was mad about something when he really wasn't at all (I asked, so that is how I know he wasn't).


[qute=DonH]
Texts were short then again until Sunday night when she tells me she's skinny dipping with her BFF at her pool. I've not named her Wild Girl for nothing. LOL. She then says that they've been talking about me a lot. Her BFF appears to really like me as do her family and daughters. Seems like the age difference is continuing to bother her while her BFF and others are telling her it should not. They seem to care less. Many of the people she hangs out with are her age or younger. I can't help but think she was a bit embarrassed to have some old guy - 55 - come hang out with them. I might be wrong, but I really do wonder.
[/quote]
So, you're saying drinking and skinny dipping make her wild? Hmmmmmm......LOL I may have to rethink it when I tell people I'm not wild at all if that is the case.

On the very positive side, rather than bottle all of this up and keep it to herself, she decided to tell me what she is feeling. I think that's great. I validated in part by saying, I fully understand - especially since her last BF was like 35 so I'm 20 years the other direction. Clearly her friends are helping her. It really can't be denied though - we are in many ways two different people, almost of two different generations - but not quite. I guess 13 years is not two different generations but I was graduating high school when she was in kindergarten. She said she doesn't want the age gap to bother her but it still does - just less and less over time. I'm totally fine with that. I told her that perhaps she's been dating boys and now she's dating a man. She very much agreed. I just have to wonder if her comfort zone is not boys rather than men?

13 years is not that much difference once you get to a certain age. But maybe she prefers younger men because that helps her maintain some semblance of youth herself. I mean, dating someone a lot younger than you certainly doesn't hurt the old ego, right?

I've still not asked her to go on the cruise. I know I probably should but dang that's still 6 months from now. I don't want it putting pressure on either of us. I don't want to get to September or October and think "OMG what the heck have I done!!!" I'll see one of the guys running this next weekend and will see if he gives me a deadline or says time is up, give me her name and info.

This might be too redneck a phrase for you, Don, but as my daddy would say "sh!t or get off the pot". While I understand your reasons for not asking now, 6 months is not that far out and will creep up on you in no time and she'll need time to make arrangements so this is not something you can wait til a few weeks out then ask. Trust me on this one.........I'm thinking like a woman. If someone were going to invite me on a cruise, I would want him to do so sooner than later, so that I had ample time to plan my wardrobe (and I'm not nearly as a big a clotheshorse as many I know), and probably shape up a bit, not to mention make arrangements at work and for the care of my child while I was going to be gone having a good time.

I'm nearly positive we'll talk tonight. She's had nearly two weeks of fun including days off but that ends with quite a bit of work until she has a week of vacation in about a month. She will be with family the same time I'm doing an awesome extended weekend in Michigan that I'd love to take her on. Very expensive hotel for three nights, fun festival, good food, etc., and of course it's all paid for. It would be the perfect trial for the cruise. Sadly she will be with her parents, her daughters, etc. and that is more important - especially with a 17 year old in the mix - than the trip I'm going on. I did ask and she was even torn a bit but I encouraged her to stick with the family plans - which is yet another reason she says she likes me - because I care about more than just me or her, ask about her family, work, etc. I really hope I get to meet one of these duchebags as she calls them that she has dated. Sounds like it might be a fascinating meet and greet. LOL

So I'm perhaps a step lower on the interest meter but still pretty much up there. I'm actually in some ways glad we did not see each other this weekend as I think it's serving to build interest and attraction for the next time.

This is really more of an observation based on your posts than anything, but for someone who keeps downplaying your interest in this woman for various reasons (age, drinking, wildness), you seem to care an awful lot about her family and her friends and how they perceive you. You display a reticence to label this as anything beyond dating and continually mention that you are going slow, which is totally fine, but sometimes your own description of your thoughts belies that a bit. I think you are more smitten than you care to acknowledge or admit. You keep up pretty closely as to when you'll talk and when you won't and that sort of thing. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying any of that is bad, just saying that seems to indicate a deeper level of interest than you are saying is there. Just some food for thought...................................