Hi Orange, I missed you being around this past weekend, but I was so proud of you spending time with your son instead of on the board. So far.....you are sounding more grounded. It's different from when you swing from an extremely low mood to an unrealistic high, and I sincerely hope you can maintain this level for a while. Focus on just maintaining as long as you can. When your thoughts begin to stray, bring them back to where you are right now.
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I struggle a lot over feeling stupid, duped and naive.
The experience is what it is. It will make you wiser in future relationships. Forgive yourself for being human and wanting to be in love with what you thought was your dream girl. Whenever these struggles arise in your spirit, tell yourself that you forgive OrangeK, and accept that experience (in the sense that you can't go back in history and undo it). Let it go, knowing that you are wiser.
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Also, i May be experiencing some anxiety as my Birthday approaches, My birthday was always kind of a big deal.
Make plans to do something special for your birthday. Don't dwell on thoughts of what she used to do on your birthday. Don't have expectations of hearing from her. Don't give "her" your birthday by dwelling on the past or the what "if's".
She has robbed you enough, right? So, don't give her your head space.
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Either way, I think that the birthday factor may be a large source of the emotional buildup over yesterday and today, after having seen her in person (she didnt see me, as i didn't go outside because of the TRO)
That makes sense. Here is where you can chose a different route of emotional reaction. In other words, you rebound quickly from the emotional feelings of seeing her yesterday. You focus on what is happening around you right now. You focus on staying grounded, instead of allowing your thoughts to send you spinning......as has happened in the past. This will be huge progress, Orange!
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I feel i am in a good place. Doing sooo much better than I had been even a few weeks ago. Ive been eating up material off of YouTube on CBT, Self Reliance and a lot of topics focusing on self, rather than the 3 month long crunch session i did on personality disorders and psychology in an attempt to understand and decode WIFE's behavior.
YES!!!! That's what I'm talking about!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
