David, hello and welcome! It sounds like you are following DB principals fairly well as far as getting out, GAL'ing and working on yourself, but you're getting impatient and not giving it time to work. Stop the temperature checking, stop looking at others to intervene, and settle in for the long haul.
Your W is lost in the fog right now. She may come out of it with time, but right now she is fully immersed and there is nothing you can do but give her time and space to work it through.
Regarding whether she's having an A, I'd say the chances are very good she is. Even if she's not in a physical affair she's no doubt in an emotional one, or even an imaginary one (dreams of a knight in shining armor coming to sweep her off her feet).
I have a question for you, you keep talking about your limited visitation as not being your choice, who made that choice and why did you not try to fight it? It seems really odd that a father would go from taking care of the kids all the time to seeing them 2 hours per week unless there's something we don't know (accusations of child abuse or such).
