It's great that you are enjoying your vacation. As much as possible you should concentrate on that, and on your D. Those are indelible memories that you are making. Cherish them.
In terms of making mistakes in the MR, LoneWolf is spot on. None of us are perfect. It is good to reflect on what you could do better in any future relationship with WW or anyone else. That sort of honest reflection is the only path to growth. It is easier for most people to simply pass off the blame (like our spouses) to the other party. But how do you then learn how not to repeat the same mistakes? I became highly codependent and lost my sense of self, and ceased to be the person my W fell in love with. Right now I am trying to figure out the steps to avoid that in the future. The 5 love languages is a good book to read as well.
That said, you cannot beat yourself up for those mistakes. We are all human and therefore imperfect. Moreover, we are not the ones who ended the relationship rather than communicating and making honest attempts to rectify the problems. Self-compassion is a hugely important part of self-esteem. Don't hold yourself to a standard of perfection, you wouldn't hold anyone else to that standard, certainly not someone you love. Treat yourself with the same compassionate love that you would someone dear to your heart.
Good to hear from you again.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
