Moving On To The Bright Side 2

[DonH]

Let me throw in my two cents here. I also defiantly have a type - although I really didn't think so until it was pointed out. Thing is my type has shifted over the years but what hasn't is how the person in the inside effects it. The first of the two longer term Rs since my D was not at all my type. In fact the first time I met her I spent the time I did with her to try to get closer to her friend who was totally my type. A year later I saw her for her and it was really her actions towards me and interest in me that helped it to happen. The fact that she was larger than most anyone I had dated didn't end up mattering. I also came to find out that her friend, while looking totally like I go for, was not a nice person nor would I have dated her. You just never know.

I think you'll find that if she checks your other boxes, the looks won't matter near as much. It really does become a package deal. I have to wonder if this woman is not sparking other things beyond the looks and that's why you notice the looks as much. For example her lacking confidence.

Ginger is really hitting it on the head too. To find a size 2 who is 45 and in really good shape is just not common. And then I'm going to burst another bubble for you, even if they do, now, menopause is not going to be all too far down the road and that will often really change things. True, it's more at about 50 for that but wow, it really throws a lot of things out the door - at least it can. That's why the person inside is so much more important.

It's only the third woman you've gone out with but you still seem to be trying soooooo hard at this. You're even thinking ahead to moving in together - really, after the first date? I'm not saying you are considering them actually moving in but you are making it a factor. Would that not be a year at least down the road until it's a factor? I really think you are overthinking so much of this. As someone who is picky as heck, I can tell you when it falls into place you don't have to think about it near as much. You'll like her so much, find her so funny and smart and fun that you will barely notice her loose butt. And if that's not the case.... Well then perhaps you need to look at why. You really have to try to relax more at this. I think you had it in your head that there were all of these women OLD and they will most all look like their photos, most all be stable and really ready for an R. Almost like looking online for a used car. If only it were even remotely close to that. More than not, all OLD is a way to get casually introduced to more people in less time. Otherwise, as you are starting to find out, it's not nearly what it's cracked up to be. Then as we've both reported ourselves, G and I have both done better offline. I've not even been OLD for several years so I'd have to be doing better but even factored in, I've done way better offline - and not just recently. I'm not suggesting you stop trying OLD, just that you significantly alter your expectations.