Still Navigating

[DonH]

The challange for you now, and the question is, how long will the anxiety stay down? Chances are it will again climb, which is really okay, it's how you handle it and what you do with it that matters. I believe the anxiety is down now because you realize he is not rejecting you. It's not about you nearly as much as it is about him. Am I right? Because you know it's not you, you can accept it much better. It's so hard to develop this mindset but it really is so important. We all say to just stay in the moment and not worry about the future but it's so much harder to do than it is to say!

It's again fortuitous that you'll have time away from each other. This is not a bad thing at all. It actually forces that tripling thing on you and removes pressure from both of you. I believe that is needed. It's still so different for you to not be full steam ahead at this point. I'm not even saying it's better - it's just new and different - and takes some time to get used to.

You really cannot predict the future so don't try. You are probably correct in that he's not going to run into a full on R with you right now. That doesn't mean he never will. He may. He may not. Who knows what will happen. Just try to enjoy, learn and grow. Perhaps the largest challange will be if you meet someone else. The urge will be to say, sorry I'm seeing someone and pass the new guy by.

But honestly, is HC perhaps not exactly what you need right now? D10 still needs a lot of your time. You are busy at work. Maybe it's not even the right time for falling in love. Maybe a few years down the road will be much better - and HC may just be ready at that point as well. Just a thought.

Your challange and my suggestion to you is to work on deciding what you will do the next time the anxiety returns - and it will. How will you handle it? How will you calm yourself? Think about that now so you might be better prepared when it happens! The time to prepare for a crises, or in this case anxiety, is not after it hits but long before.

So glad you are happy. It's great to hear!