Don't hesitate to reinvent trigger dates like the anniversary and vacation. BD was a big one for me. The next year I went away to a place by the beach all by myself. I had not done anything by myself like that in 14 years! Everytine I drive by that place I have happy memories! And now BD date is co-mingled with that retreat.
There is much good looking at your list. Just because she has no wind in her sails doesn't mean you have to be the same. Live like she's not going to wake up, invest in you and you can't lose long term.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
