Thanks Blu, I have been reading all your threads and there is such wisdom for the newbies like me to follow. I have always felt this forum is like grief counseling, all the vets like you are doing charity work by offering your DB lessons and advice. Thanks for investing your time here. The first thread you described your H as a nice guy who was a people pleaser and put your needs before yours, that is exactly what my H was too. And then suddenly he was this erupted volcano that had been unhappy for so long and I was completely unaware and he cannot believe I wasnt aware. In my sitch, this volcano erupted when our baby was about 10 weeks old, but I do not think there is any A, certainly not a PA and mostly no EA either but well I have been the definition of naive with this MR so nothing can shock me at this time I believe. Now on retrospect there may have been signs, very subtle or I may have been completely ignorant, but I go back and ask myself if he was so unhappy would he have had another child with me? You mention above that when you let go, did not ignore him he responded. How do you define not ignoring, in DB LRT it is suggested we dont always answer their calls and be friendly but distant. When he came over home, were you like a friendly neighbor, or did you just leave if he was around? Did that change over the course of the time?
When it rains misery it pours, you losing your dad, your Ds diagnosis and then the BD it couldn't get worse I can imagine. Have you spoken to him about the timing of this all? Do you hold resentment about when he did it not just the how or why? Did he ever complain of depression to you before BD or post BD? I do not mean to revisit any of those painful memories with these questions, trying to understand how the WAH minds work. if it is too painful to go back, please ignore my questions. - Arshi
