Might have made another dumb life decision, but its over now. Had been planning a vacation with the kids since Jan. I kept telling myself that this would be the last family vacation for the kids ever. I did this for the kids 100%. I made sure they had fun. So I did agree to go camping. It was hard. Had a few arguments etc but nothing to major, as we had agreed to not discuss anything while camping. We mostly stuck to it. We also had arranged "alone" days where one of us would spend time with the kids by ourselves. It mostly worked. She was glued to her phone the entire time, texting her new "friends" the entire time.
I tried to stay detached. I didnt want to worry about what shes doing. I did have a meeting with a lawyer before I left. I want to ensure I have custody of the kids, if she pulls the plug. Well as we were driving back she starts by stating I need to watch the kids during the week since she wants to be out with her friends.
I explain I am not built in babysitting. I explain that I dont think the time allotment is close to equal. I say we need a parenting schedule. So I can GAL etc.
This opened up a can of worms. We start discussing schedules, custody etc. All I want is some boundries on time. I suspect her EA partner/s want her out more. I cant fully DB if I'm at the house each night doing bedtime.
Dont get me wrong, I love my time spent with the kids, but this seems unfair. To me its all cake eating. I'm starting to see a life divorced. Where I'm not in pain by seeing her constantly chasing other people. There are so many bad things about divorce that I see, but I'm in that space where I know it wont be my choice, but will have to go on reguardless. I might as well make the best of it.
