Introduction

[TJT]

Thanks Steve. I guess I'm wondering what would stop my H from thinking I'm telling them even if I really wasn't? Unless I bring it up and say, "Just FYI, I'm not telling anybody anything" but that would seem sort of like having an R conversation, or perceived as wanting to start one, so I hesitate to do that.

Basically I've only told a few friends and they are people I really trust, and quite frankly are the main ones who will help me GAL. I don't think I could do it as effectively if they didn't know what was up (and also, I'm sure at some point they'd wonder where the hell H is every time). I've told them not to let on to anyone else that they know, especially if by some miracle we are all hanging out together (with H) again.

But like I said, even if I really wasn't telling anyone I feel like H would probably think that. I mean, he knows he's hurt me and now I'm hanging out with my friends much more often than usual. It would seem to be a normal assumption to make so either way, I don't know how to mitigate the potential impacts of him thinking that.

I did talk myself out of going to the neighbor's house and telling them, though! I feel terrible that we seem like such stand-offish neighbors because H doesn't want to socialize with anyone and part of me just really wanted them to know that obviously we are going through something and it's not that we don't like them... but in that case I definitely don't know them well enough to trust that they wouldn't say anything and ultimately, I just can't worry about them or what they think of us right now.