There is no question that i have asked. Just never diagnosed.
New guy was really cautious with me today. But i just notice that when he doesn't know what he's doing, he likes to yell at others and make it out like they are the ones that don't know what they are doing. He has to quickly comment and make remarks and doesn't understand that no one immediately knows where to go...it takes a bit to get oriented. And why comment on any wrong turn. Its just annoying. I don't feel like he wants to grow. Nor does he have self awareness. I am seeing a lot of arrogance.
And he fights and argues over little things that are kind of pointless. His daughter is a teenager with adhd and i just find myself relating to her and siding with her not him.
We are just dating. This stuff is coming out now more and more to me and i am feeling depressed about breaking up with him. I don't think he is cruel or malicious. And i want a reason to stay with him. But i am not accepting this part of him. It is turning me off. I am wanting to just go it alone and not have to deal with anyone.
When i meet people, i am the type that wants them to feel good. I often play myself down to make others feel good. I never feel the need to win the handshake contest. I think with some people that is not a good route to go. I am not liking who i presented to him.
My ex left me. I don't known if he cheated on me. But he was spending 800 a week while we lived in a apt and then with my parents. That is really really really bad. He was lying and deflecting regarding money. He was not being a good partner. I don't know if its because NGs traits are just not looking good to me, but i am really missing my ex. I am wondering if he has regrets. I am wondering if there really is an addiction. If i vilified him. I am thinking a lot about him when i am with ng and comparing and remember my love for the father of my child.
