A wonderful young mother with great values and enormous love in her heart struggling with self esteem issues because of looks.
OK WH may be good looking, although even that is subjective, but at the moment he has an ugly heart and dirt bag behaviour together with a wayward trouser snake. And these qualities will age him and make him hard and unattractive, the body holds it as the mind betrays the scumbagging to the body. At the end of her time here on the board the amazing poster Cherry wrote "WH is unattractive". Because he was to her. You too will see the ugly from the heart sketch and draw on the face and body.
It wasn't his looks or others giving him admiring glances that made your WH cheat, it was his dingbat waywardism. It was Mr Cheater pants mindset. Not his chizelled chin or deep luxurious hair.
You, my lovely lady will soften with age and glow because you have learned that it is love and self care that creates that attractive sheen that is seen for joy. You have love in your heart for your children.
Here sit by V and look in the mirror and see that beauty is more than skin deep, it is love and joy. SEE THAT IN YOUR OWN EYES AND KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.
If you read my thread then you will see that I had a similar view of myself, that I am not enough, but gradually over time I can deeply love as well as extreme self care for V. I wish you brave lady the same shift. I want for you the joy that I recently experienced when a young girl of about 6 walked to my table in a supermarket cafe and said 'you are so beautiful and you smile a lot.'
Take it from a seasoned by trial V, the things that matter most are self care and deep love, you have these in abundance.
Being beautiful or handsome is an extra gift which can be easily wasted if it isn't taken care of through love, and it fades quickly with time in the wayward. Whereas others grow into great beauty. Of itself it does not guarrantee fidelity in a spouse, just look at extra ordinary women in the public eye whose WH cheated. Here on the board I can say to you that there are some stunning women and handsome men, all LBS whose waywards cheated. It is the heart that cheats in the cheater and as such they decompensate in the body.
I trust one day you may turn around and say a crazy lady on a board told me that she knew I was beautiful as I had great love in my heart. Tomorrow, smile, look in your own eyes in a mirror and say 'I am enough'. Start with that.
Because it is so.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
