Interesting. My friend won't date men who are too handsome because she feels like she would always be looking over her shoulder and that they would cheat (even though she's quite attractive in her own right. ) My crazy exBF was handsome (often mistaken for an ex-pro athlete because of his build) and she couldn't understand why I wasn't concerned about that. (Turned out he WAS unfaithful but it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with his mental illness. In fact I'm the one he still wants but I've made it clear we are only friends going forward.)
My ex was not a super handsome guy and I think when we were first together he thought I was a real catch in the looks department (I was). But as a physician, many women are available to them due to their perceived money and power, even if they're not handsome. That can be hard to compete with, especially if they suffer from depression or personality disorders that make them more vulnerable to cheating. (My friend thinks college professors are a bad risk too as she thinks they all end up sleeping with their students!).
" I, on the other hand, look average and it's hard for me to find the motivation to focus on makeup and hair because I'm always busy with my daughter, work, and trying to manage everything."
Ok - don't do this for your husband but do it for YOU. This is a time when you need to start feeling better about your own attractiveness. Work out. Get a new haircut and/or color - try something new. Discipline yourself to spend a few minutes every morning putting on makeup even if you don't think you'll see anybody. Get a simplified routine for every day if it takes you too long. I didn't really wear makeup for the first 40 years or so of my life but it's amazing what a difference a little bit can do. And I can put on foundation, powder, corrector for my undereye dark circles, eyebrow pencil, crayon eyeliner and mascara in about three minutes flat. (Eyeshadow and lipstick if I'm feeling fancy). I know it seems like just one more chore but do it so you stop feeling bad about yourself. And if you want your husband back you should at least be willing to put in that minimal effort - confidence is attractive. And if you decide he's a lost cause, you never know, you might just meet someone in the grocery store!
