Thanks Arsh, Helena, and LoneWlf. I'm guilty of wrongdoing too so I feel humble considering my mistakes and how I wasn't able to see the damage I was inflicting until it was too late. This is one reason why I still wish to reconcile with my husband as friends or as married partners because we've both hurt each other, although what he's done is obviously worse. Another factor is faith just as LoneWlf writes about on his thread. If you don't follow any particular faith it may not help but if you do then the lessons on love, compassion, forgiveness, and justice are a good source of support although you have to balance the love and justice parts. If you're too easily forgiving and loving your partner will take advantage of that and believe they can have you back easily. If you're too focused on justice then it's hard to see any reason to save the marriage.
One thing we can't see about one another on a blind forum such as this one is what we're all like in real life, and what our spouses are like. My husband is really handsome and he has a lot of confidence in his appearance and women everywhere look at him on the streets. He knows he can easily attract almost anyone but that's different than being in a long-term relationship with challenges and responsibilities. He tried out marriage and found it's easier and more fun to have short-term relationships but I don't know how long that lifestyle will last. I, on the other hand, look average and it's hard for me to find the motivation to focus on makeup and hair because I'm always busy with my daughter, work, and trying to manage everything. I also dress conservatively so unless I want to change, how can I compete with the women my husband goes after? It seems there's a mismatch. If my husband and I were ever to reconcile I think I'd have to put more effort into beauty and fashion and he'd have to put more effort into being committed to a long-term partnership.
There are no other updates on my end....everything is the same.
